You know the scene. Gym class. Someone is picked last and is subsequently laughed at for the rest of the game. School picture day. A girl is teased mercilessly for her ensemble choice. Orchestra practice. The boys behind you kick your chair every time you squeak out a wrong note.
Childhood bullying is not a new topic. Thankfully, many
enlightened schools are taking action against bullying and seeking out the kids who are the catalysts. What isn't discussed nearly enough is being bullied as an adult.
As a child, your foes are clear...kids in your school or neighborhood who have a goal to make your day a little worse. As an adult, bullies go from a black-and-white landscape to one that is murky and full of gray areas. Welcome to the world of passive aggression.
The one thing I'll give props to childhood bullies for: they are straightforward and honest. To a fault, yes, but there's no dancing around or thinly-veiled slights.
In fact, I'll venture to say that adult bullies are just childhood bullies who have upped their game. They've been around. Learned the ropes. Perfected their craft.
If Susie turned girls away from the "popular" lunch table, chances are she'll leave you out of a meeting.
If Tommy beat up kids who were weaker than him, you might find him in the weight room at the gym, snickering with his buddies and pointing at an overweight guy doing bicep curls.
Yes, bullies can gain strength as they advance in years. And that sucks. Many adult "bully victims" suffer silently.
Maybe I'm just imagining things. I'm being too sensitive. I'll just stay quiet so I don't rock the boat.
So, I'm going to turn this around and point out something that's awesome. The bullies may be craftier, but you, my friend, have only gained strength and courage over the years. You can thank those bullies for giving you a tougher skin.
As someone who has survived her fair share of both childhood and adult bullying, I'm here to tell you that those experiences have forced me to climb the ladder of enlightenment, and it's a good place to be.
I've reached a point in my life in which I can say, "Let them be bullies. I'm going to keep on being awesome." Life is so much better when you're not constantly looking over your shoulder.
In closing, to all those adults out there who inwardly resemble an insecure, chubby, or "different" kid, do whatever makes you feel happy, bullies be damned. Let them belittle others to build up their own crumbling self-esteem. Let them be close-minded. You have shit to do. And it doesn't involve them.
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| Seven-year-old me |
To feel even awesomer about yourself, visit my
"for realsies" Pinterest board.
